Right now i'm just sitting and looking her face through the screen and separated by miles. It just feel like a dream when you can see something but can't have such a feeling of holding and touching. and then all the envious is going out madly trough my mind told my heart something bad.
Something bad that makes me envy.
Not with creatures but non living objects.
I'm kinda jealous to her phone camera which can see her face so often
I also jealous to her clothes that always holding her body and making her feel so safe
I' m jealous to her blanket that always making her feeling warm over the night
and I'm jealous to all drinking glass that so often meet her lips, kissing her unconsciously
i'm jealous
I'M ENVY
and suddenly i just feel wrong..
when I see her smile. The smile that I never be can capture, the smile that only I seen when I see her for live, the smile for me, the smile that making her eyes trying to told me something but I can't read it through her eyes because everything inside her eyes was like a black hole that no one ever know what's inside. Something which can trap the light and never let it back, something that making everyone feel so curious what's inside. Something that could be making me see the future through the time.
I just feel like i'm in a future. I just can see the future of me, of her, of us
The future when we together, when we can hold each other hands every time, the future when two of us just thinking this is the gift from the past. And then I just came back from the future, right after she wink her eyes.
I don't know why I'm just pretty sure with what I've seen just now. It just feel like I have known how our future will be, how was our feeling and how our life will be even if the future is still a mystery. Maybe it's a gift of the day, the present day.
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